In what might be the worst case of "tell on yourself" since people started posting their crimes on TikTok, a Chevy Corvette driver in Tempe, Arizona, has given us all a masterclass in what not to do when you own a 495-horsepower mid-engine sports car.

Let's set the scene: Our protagonist -- and we use that term loosely... anti-hero? -- decided to record himself blasting across the Mill Avenue Bridge at over 140 mph. Because if you're going to commit a traffic violation, why not create a high-definition video confession while you're at it? The footage, apparently captured on the Corvette's own Performance Data Recorder (a feature Chevy definitely didn't intend for self-incrimination purposes), was presumably posted somewhere online. Pro tip: the "record" button is not the same as the "get away with it" button.

According to the Tempe Police Department, this wasn't this particular Corvette's debut performance. The car had been reported multiple times for reckless driving and excessive noise (including by a neighbor in the video's comments) -- which, let's be honest, is kind of the whole point of owning a C8 Corvette with its glorious naturally-aspirated V8. But there's a time and a place, folks, and "wherever and whenever you feel like it" isn't the answer.

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The plot thickens when a bike-mounted officer spotted the Corvette at a red light. Now, when a police officer on a bicycle tries to stop you, the universe is basically giving you a chance to do the right thing. Instead, our driver channeled his inner Fast & Furious character and blew through several red lights in what can only be described as "compounding your legal problems at 60 mph."

But here's where it gets really interesting: The very next day -- literally 24 hours later -- Mr. "Gotta Go Fast" was back at it again. This time, however, Tempe PD came prepared. Forget bicycles; they rolled up with a grappler-equipped patrol car.

For those unfamiliar, a grappler is basically a net launcher that wraps around a fleeing vehicle's wheels, bringing it to a stop. It's like something out of Batman's arsenal, except instead of catching the Joker, it's catching someone who thinks speed limits are merely suggestions. The device successfully deployed, and the Corvette came to an unceremonious halt -- along with its driver's freedom.

Here's the cherry on top of this sundae of bad decisions: When officers asked the handcuffed driver why he accelerated away from police, his response was a baffling, "Are you sure that was me?"

Sir. Sir. You recorded yourself. In your own car. With its distinctive license plate. And then you ran from a bicycle cop. In the same car. The next day. In the same city. The Shaggy "It Wasn't Me" defense has never worked, and it's definitely not going to work when there's video evidence.

Fleeing from a marked police vehicle in Arizona is a class 5 felony, which carries a potential prison sentence of up to 1.5 years and fines up to $150,000. That's not even counting the other charges likely to come from the reckless driving, running red lights, and whatever other violations occurred during his Greatest Hits tour of traffic laws.

Oh, and that grappler device? It probably didn't do wonders for the Corvette's bodywork or suspension. The C8 Corvette Z51 starts at around $70,000, and this one is now sitting in an impound lot, possibly with some fresh battle scars courtesy of Arizona law enforcement.

Here's the thing that makes this story even more frustrating: Just one hour south of the Mill Avenue Bridge sits the Podium Club at Attesa racing facility. That's right -- there's literally a track nearby where this driver could have legally unleashed his Corvette's full potential, learned proper high-performance driving techniques, and walked away with bragging rights instead of a felony charge.

High-performance driver education events exist all over the country for exactly this reason. You get to drive fast, you learn car control, you don't endanger random pedestrians, and -- here's the kicker -- you don't end up in handcuffs asking, "Are you sure that was me in my own video?"

The Corvette C8 is an incredible machine. With its mid-engine layout borrowed from exotic supercars, its lightning-quick dual-clutch transmission, and handling that'll make you grin from ear to ear, it deserves better than to be the star of a police bodycam video. General Motors spent decades engineering this masterpiece to be track-capable and street-legal. Emphasis on legal.

If you're lucky enough to own a performance car like a C8 Corvette, treat it -- and your community -- with respect. Take it to a track. Join a local car club. Do literally anything other than filming yourself breaking the law and then acting surprised when consequences show up.

And if you absolutely insist on doing something this monumentally unwise, maybe don't press record first. Just a thought.

As for our Tempe speed demon? He'll have plenty of time to reflect on his choices. Hopefully, he'll emerge with a better understanding of the difference between "fast" and "smart" -- and maybe a track day membership.

"Are You Sure That Was Me?": Corvette Going 140 MPH Gets Caught By Police